We can not tell you about Kaylen's Write to Heal without first telling you about Kaylen Leigh Phillips. Her story is one full of compassion, forgiveness, mercy and the upmost grace. Her short life left a powerful impact on everyone that she came in contact with and has continued to do so long after she entered the Kingdom of Heaven.
One beautiful Sunday in September, the birth mother went into labor at my home. I had the awesome opportunity to coach her through a long labor, and witness the miracle of the birth of a beautiful girl. I spent many hours that day with the adoptive parents on the phone, as they made preparations to come and see their new daughter the next day. I was so in awe that GOD had allowed me to be there to witness new life, and I felt honored just to be a part of this couple’s ability to welcome this child into the world. I got to give Kaylen her first bottle, and enjoyed holding this little one in my arms every second I had the chance.
The day the adoptive parents were to arrive to meet their new child they were given a devastating diagnosis from the doctor about a health condition that would require an immense amount of attention and many more tests ahead. Due to this fact they had to back out of the adoption. The birth mother feared the worse. She thought what now? This baby deserves a home and a family. She then looked at me, and asked me to do something I never saw coming… she wanted me to be Kaylen’s mother. I remember in that moment feeling countless emotions, and I remember feeling lead by the Holy Spirit to do this awesome calling, but I knew that I must consult my husband.
I remember calling my husband in very tearful anticipation of what he would say. We had two sons to consider, and financially we were not at a place to adopt. I was finishing a degree, and we had just moved into a new home. I was sure that all of these factors would play a part of my husbands discerning nature, and we would have to decline this calling. Little did I know that my husband was told in a dream that we would be adopting this little girl several nights earlier, and he was more than willing to be the father to her because he too felt that was what God was asking us to do this. In that moment, I remember being so afraid. The emotions continued to go in a million different directions. Why me Lord? Can I do this? Do you know what you are asking? Are you sure you have the right person? Lord, you know I love her, and I am already emotionally attached; you know that I have anticipated her coming into this world, and being a small part of that picture. As I was standing in the hallway of this hospital a lady came up to me. She asked if she could pray for me. I said yes please please. She did not ask details, she only knew I needed God in that moment. This was her prayer “Father, help her to do what you have already prepared her to do, In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.” Confirmation came through those words and I accepted the huge calling to parent this little 5 lb gift. The details feel into place. I had the best friends who provided all that I needed to bring this unexpected gift home and call her mine. God had provided what we needed and even extras to make her homecoming such a blessing.
Kaylen brought so much joy into our home. She was always full of smiles and laughter. She was a daddy’s girl from the start, and her brothers welcomed her in and became very protective of their baby sister. Still God was calling us to continue to help the birth mother. Every Sunday for 2 months we took our little girl and the birth mother to church and helped guide the birth mother to independence which lead to her moving away when Kaylen was a little over 2 months old. We had so many dreams of Kaylen’s future, and would one day tell her of the amazing story of her arrival. We had wonderful friends who helped us with the transition and our “new normal”. She was quickly becoming the “church baby”, and was loved by all who knew her.
Kaylen continuously fought sleep. She did not want to miss one thing her brothers were doing, or one opportunity to love on her daddy. On January 22, 2009 we allowed her to play until she simply fell asleep. She was having such a good time, and we simply enjoyed watching her. She went to bed that night a very happy healthy little girl. The next morning when we woke up to start our daily routine, we went into her room only to find that she had entered heaven that morning sometime, and had passed away from this earth from a horrible illness known as Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. We could not believe that this was part of the plan. How could it be? We loved her so much, and we had done exactly what we were called to do. God was asking too much from us. We could love her, but we could not let her go.
After the people went home, and the food was almost gone; after the cards had stopped and the hospital bills had not, pain settled in. It was then that a dear friend of mine came to me and wanted to start Kaylen’s write to heal. This was going to be an effort to send words of encouragement to families who had lost children by simply sending a card and a prayer. I was the recipient of the first effort and have to date received 60+ cards that have helped me understand that healing truly does come in knowing you are not alone and realizing that there are people who are praying for you during this grieving process. Please as you sign up to receive e-mails when a family needs encouragement, remember that God uses his children to encourage and help bring healing.
The birth mother has now given her heart and life to Christ, and although she has many hard roads ahead…she will one day see Kaylen again. Our prayer is that somehow Kaylen’s Write to heal will help others along the way in the name of our Lord and my precious daughter Kaylen.
Thanks……….Kaylen’s mother, Christi
